All marriages have ups and downs over time. When a relationship is healthy, the marriage survives the tough times. But, when the relationship is dysfunctional, the times when things are down can be devastating to the marriage. How can you tell when your marriage is in serious trouble? Are there signs that your marriage is over?
There are definite signs that can indicate your marriage is not working. These signs may be right in front of you and yet you don’t see them because either you are too busy and not looking or in denial. The first step in saving your marriage is recognizing problems and taking steps to work together with your spouse to fix them. VanCamp Law Firm specializes in working with couples whose marriages are in serious trouble and who are considering divorce.
There are many areas where a marriage can falter. This article explores seven signs that can indicate that your marriage is not working and, in fact, may be over.
Everyone has probably heard that open communication is one of the basic foundations of a healthy relationship, and this is absolutely true. Couples who communicate can resolve conflict respectfully. Healthy marriages include the ability to communicate about subjects that may be touchy like money, sex, future plans, children, and relationships with other family members. If you can’t address these types of topics, you may not have the level of trust you should in your relationship.
A lack of communication is one of the biggest signs of an unhappy marriage. An inability to communicate openly can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. When you can’t talk, unhealthy arguing (and, not all arguing is unhealthy) ensues where it isn’t about solving a problem anymore. This can deteriorate other areas of the relationship such as intimacy.
Healthy relationships have a connection between the partners that can be called an underlying friendship. Two people whose relationship is healthy are also friends. The partners have an emotional intimacy with the ability to have fun and enjoy spending time with each other. In a dysfunctional marriage, resentment and contempt replace the patience and love the relationship once had and you disconnect from each other. When a relationship is suffering a disconnect, you avoid one another and are happier apart.
When a marriage has a strong foundation, you are willing to meet in the middle to make a situation work. Compromising is a sign of a healthy relationship where each person is open to working on an issue so that he/she is respectful of the other person’s stand. A willingness to meet shows that you value both your partner and the relationship. When there is no compromise, in effect, you don’t respect the other’s feelings or opinions. Without respect, the relationship is in big trouble.
Not only does intimacy refer to sex, it also includes actions like holding hands, snuggling, hugging, or even just touching while you’re talking. Many things can happen over time with aging and health-related issues where sex may not be possible. But, in a healthy relationship, intimacy always exists and is an important aspect of the connection. If you are in a sexless marriage because you are unattracted to your partner, or don’t want to have sex or be intimate, you are more than likely in an unhappy marriage.
Infidelity encompasses more than having a physical sexual relationship outside of your marriage. It can also include feeling emotionally attached to a person outside of your marriage such that you share intimacy with that person. In either case, your relationship is suffering and needs to be dealt with, if possible.
Trust is critical in a healthy marriage. Trusting each other is one of the most important elements in your relationship and a necessary element of a lifetime commitment. When trust erodes, the quality of the relationship deteriorates as well. Having trust is important for both people in the marriage. It provides a sense of safety, happiness, and support that is crucial for each spouse in building and maintaining a strong, healthy marriage. On the other hand, a lack of trust or a breach of trust can be a devastating experience and cause irreversible damage in the relationship. It is possible to build trust again if both of you are willing to work together to restore the trust.
If you are pursuing goals that are attainable with your partner, this shows the relationship to be on thin ice. If you have plans for the future that are different from, and don’t include, your spouse, this would be a clear sign that you no longer want to be married.
If your relationship is experiencing any of these signs, and you are considering a divorce as a result, contact us. Our Moore County team of experienced family law and divorce attorneys can walk you through your options. Call us locally at [phone], toll-free at 877-288-6557, or complete the online form below.